sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
