He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize