do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize