he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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