thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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