after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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