Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
