i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
