Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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