If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
