I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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