You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's never too late to be topless.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't turn off my feet"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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