I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
