I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
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I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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