Non-Jews are for practice
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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