guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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