I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
