Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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