she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize