smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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