Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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