just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
