Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
