I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
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Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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