Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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