Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The struggles of a small town man whore
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
