I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize