You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
