I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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