i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize