They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
