There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
