PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
