yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
