Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
