I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
