yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
sex in a hospital.. check
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
