To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
