Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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  (512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself. (519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey. http://tfl.nu/1rre
  Replies (158) Good night (1456) Bad night (865)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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  (440): And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link http://tfl.nu/gvkq
  Replies (9) Good night (711) Bad night (1842) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  You should get sea herpes

  (831): View more from California

  I mean sea horses

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  (831): You should get sea herpes (831): I mean sea horses http://tfl.nu/2vm6
  Replies (21) Good night (3641) Bad night (621)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.

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  (303): We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs. http://tfl.nu/nm9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4220) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her

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  (318): I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her http://tfl.nu/587c
  Replies (5) Good night (512) Bad night (4247) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3340) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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  (416): Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order http://tfl.nu/9jwa
  Replies (12) Good night (5091) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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  (402): I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow http://tfl.nu/h8bi
  Replies (10) Good night (1586) Bad night (4049) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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  (416): Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy http://tfl.nu/lckr
  Replies (15) Good night (1645) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  She told me I should be a condom model.

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  (631): She told me I should be a condom model. http://tfl.nu/0ukw
  Replies (14) Good night (6862) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack

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  (217): I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack http://tfl.nu/dmpk
  Replies (6) Good night (828) Bad night (2213)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

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  (785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1089) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (264)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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  (908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u
  Replies (4) Good night (278) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt

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