I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.