She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...