I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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