I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.