This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!