Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.

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(305): You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student. http://tfl.nu/quj8

Replies (26) Good night (10232) Bad night (826)
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(703): View more from Virginia

you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

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(703): you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. http://tfl.nu/eh64

Replies (26) Good night (5169) Bad night (1526)
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(386): View more from Florida

I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.

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(386): I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music. http://tfl.nu/9pnm

Replies (31) Good night (7907) Bad night (1389)
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(713): View more from Texas

Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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(713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm

Replies (4) Good night (4692) Bad night (938)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.

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(+44): Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand. http://tfl.nu/fdqs

Replies (22) Good night (8745) Bad night (948)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??

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(405): This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine?? http://tfl.nu/98s1

Replies (6) Good night (2406) Bad night (1076)
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(631): View more from New York

these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.

(631): View more from New York

i got hit in the ear.

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(631): these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby. (631): i got hit in the ear. http://tfl.nu/qr8z

Replies (6) Good night (2386) Bad night (1157)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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(412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car. http://tfl.nu/qdlm

Replies (9) Good night (2185) Bad night (767)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country

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(703): Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country http://tfl.nu/u6pi

Replies (27) Good night (4625) Bad night (855)
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(760): View more from California

She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

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(760): She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks. http://tfl.nu/z0r2

Replies (22) Good night (773) Bad night (3276)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

(919): View more from North Carolina

It's a mixed blessing.

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(919): Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day. (1-919): I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover. (919): It's a mixed blessing. http://tfl.nu/jmyr

Replies (10) Good night (1635) Bad night (498)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.

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(208): Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/nw7i

Replies (10) Good night (983) Bad night (437)
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(315): View more from New York

I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.

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(315): I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse. http://tfl.nu/rzpq

Replies (6) Good night (754) Bad night (275)
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(941): View more from Florida

That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.

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(941): That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that. http://tfl.nu/m9pn

Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (285)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak

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(306): of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak http://tfl.nu/lfx1

Replies (7) Good night (467) Bad night (381)

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