Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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