Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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