we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
