omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
