I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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