I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Still dying that you shit outside
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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