just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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