dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
