First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
