it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
