just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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