i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
