According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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