Where are you?
In a non slutty way
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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