And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
