whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
