I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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