I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
