Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
