my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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