Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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