you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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