I am puke
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
