marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
