he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My liver just had a heart attack.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
