My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
