If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
