yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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