Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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